Short Stuff
by dinkydow
Summary: These are a collection of short stories and drabbles that I've written over the past year or so.
1. Death Of A Memory

Title: "Death Of A Memory"

Author: Dinkydow

Type: Drabble, drama

Length: exactly 100 words

Spoilers: "The Devil You Know"

Pairings: none

Warning: sadness

Summary: He lost Charlie again.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Written for the weekly drabble word "poison". Thank you Jolene for the quick beta and the rah-rahs.

"They put that damn memory thing on me. And then they gave me something that reminded me of the 70's."

Teeth clenched so hard it hurt, a hit to my leg and my mouth opened in a scream. They forced 'The Blood of Sokar' down my throat where it flooded my mind and infested my very soul.

Sokar's poison invaded my recollections of Charlie; warped my memories and stole all I had left of my son. I'm left wondering what was real and what was drug-induced. For that crime my hatred has no limit.

For that Apophis should – will – die.

The End


	2. Guardians At The Gate

Title: "Guardians At The Gate"

Author: Dinkydow

Type: Drabble, H/C

Length: exactly 100 words

Spoilers: "Spirits"

Warning: Jack whumping ahead

Summary: Jack's not having a good day.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Weekly challenge. Use "pillow" in a sentence.

Propelled through the Stargate and the Briefing Room window, the arrow's velocity spun me around and facedown onto the carpet. My left arm semaphored distress as Hammond asked about casualties. That would be me, sir.

This is so not my day. My right arm's been shish-kabobed with a trinium shaft by aliens hell-bent on poking holes in me. Crap, no immunity anywhere.

My strength oozes out along with my blood, staining my sleeve black. Gravity sucks.

Daniel's strong arms cradle me against a living beating heart as my head pillows into his chest.

"Oh god." Friends make all the difference.

The End


	3. Hassack Of Elmer

Title: The Hassock of Elmer  
Author: Dinkydow  
Spoilers: None  
Rating: C  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Cokie insisted I write one despite the encroachment of senility. Thanks to Jolene for the beta.

"For crying out loud, Teal'c. Jack stood, mouth agape. "What's going on here?"

Teal'c's head inclined. "Did you not command me to learn all about the Tau'ri?"

O'Neill shook his head and scowled. "Sure, but – this?"

"You do not enjoy being the Hasshak of Elnath?"

"Hassock of Elmer?"

One black eyebrow climbed his ebony forehead. "We too celebrate the culmination of the season of frozen death and the advent of new birth, O'Neill. It is traditional for young Jaffa to be the duped with false information."

"Oh, I get it. April Fool?"

"Indeed."

"So – no pie?"

"No pie, O'Neill."

"Crap."

The End


	4. He Saw Lights

Title: "He Saw Lights"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, drama  
Spoilers: "The Fifth Race"

Pairings: none, other than Jack/head-grabber

Summary: Jack was losing his mind.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Takes place in the middle of the episode. Challenge word is "fireworks". Thank you to Jolene and Linda for the betas.

"Lights, he saw lights."

Crap, if that's all that happened, why do I feel like my brain's melting? The lights I saw were like fireworks pinwheeling through my fron.

Fron? What's happening to me?

Doc says it's rewriting my brain, replacing who I am with what it is – that it'll kill me. I should've known better than to stick my head into that Ancient head-grabber thingy.

At least it's happening to me. I'm expendable, the others aren't.

Strange images and words flit across my consciousness. The scary thing is that they've begun to make sense.

"Ego deserdi asordo. Comdo asorda."

The End


	5. Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall

Title: "Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall"

Author: Dinkydow

Type: Drabble, H/C

Length: exactly 100 words

Spoilers: "Abyss"

Pairings: none

Warning: none

Summary: Jack wakes up in the sarcophagus.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Weekly challenge. Use "omelet" in a sentence. Thanks to Jolene for her beta help.

When light forced my eyes open, I was enclosed in a brilliantly paneled carton that brought unwanted resurrection.

My mind felt scrambled – eggs in the blender from hell – bursting with unwanted reminders of innumerable deaths at the hands of Baal; they blurred into painful reality after a while, interspersed with nothingness as the sarcophagus put 'Jack' back together again.

If the king'd had one of these handy, it would've been a cinch to put Humpty Dumpty back together again –cracks notwithstanding. As it was, the egg lucked out – the king's men ate Humpty omelet. Me? Just more death du jour.

The End


	6. Just An Expression

Title: "Just An Expression"

Author: Dinkydow

Type: Drabble, H/C, romance

Length: exactly 100 words

Spoilers: "Beneath The Surface"

Pairings: Jack/Sam

Warning: none

Summary: As Jonah, Jack ponders scraps of memory.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Weekly challenge. Use "Homer" in a sentence. Thanks to Jolene and Linda for their beta help.

"I remember something. There's a man. He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer."

Thera's manner seemed familiar; her head rested on my shoulder – so natural – something desired.

"I remember feeling – feelings."

About Thera.

These memories – our feelings and Homer – I don't think they're night-sickness.

The bowl summoned memories of a sunlit dome on the surface – impossible with the reported wintry landscape.

She called me sir. Just an expression, but that single word proclaimed our intimacy improper – wrong.

Should I remember, what's to gain – and what's to lose?


	7. Never Again

Title: "Never Again"

Author: Dinkydow

Type: Drabble, H/C

Length: exactly 100 words

Spoilers: none

Pairings: none

Warning: sadness

Summary: Jack remembers 9/11.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Written for Memorial Day. These words have been demanding an outlet for some time. Thank you to Jolene for providing the beta work.

Billowing columns of gray smoke tainted an immaculate blue sky as innocents were sacrificed on the Twin Towers altar. At the Pentagon, flames devoured lives like a monster gone berserk.

9/11 seared horrific images into a nation's memory and united a people as none other; as television chronicled unfolding tragedy and turned normality into infamy.

Many died that day; friends – good people in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jack vowed it must never happen again.

Complacent, he'd concentrated on an off-world enemy, and disregarded those with evil hearts. How unfortunate that mankind was often its own worst enemy.

The End


	8. No Substitute

Title: No Substitute

Author: Dinkydow

Type: Drabble, H/C

Length: exactly 100 words

Spoilers: "Redemption" Part 1

Warning: Jack whumping ahead

Summary: Daniel was missed.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Weekly challenge. Use "race" in a drabble. Thank you to Jolene as usual for her beta talents. She keeps me on the straight and narrow.

"Dial the Gate! Dial it now!"

On your marks – Go!

In a race for our lives Hagman was my human crutch; behind us, a horde of very pissed-off natives with spears and dart-guns. My gimpy knee slowed us down – danged spear – primitive but effective.

Thankfully the DHD worked. It wouldn't have surprised me if it'd been busted, a fitting addendum to this SNAFU.

"I swear, sir. I thought they wanted to smoke a peace pipe," Hagman apologized.

The pathetic Captain was a poor substitute for Daniel. He would've known they wanted us for dinner – the main course.

I miss Spacemonkey.

The End


	9. Restrained Passion

Title: "Retrained Passion"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, ship  
Spoilers: "Metamorphosis"

Pairings: Jack/Sam

Summary: He was powerless.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Written "just because" after watching "Metamorphasis" Thanks to Linda and Jolene for the beta help.

"Take me!"

Nirrti, I beg you, don't take Carter – not her. She's too valuable to our world – to me.

"Take me!"

It's my duty to protect, honor, and defend my team, but Nirrti's goons took Carter and then Jonah – not me.

It's my job to take the heat, distract the bad guys and protect them – I didn't – couldn't.

"Take me!"

Now, with Carter's head resting on my shoulder, I can protect and honor her to the best of my ability . . . watch her turn into water like the others. Honor and comfort her – till death us do part.

God, take me.

"Sorry, sir."

My fascination with Nirrti's genetic machine almost made the pain bearable. Almost. The pain is getting worse.

Sorry, sir.

The Colonel said I'm going to be all right, but I don't think I am. I know something is different inside of me. Knowing it is one thing, but feeling it? I'm scared.

Sorry, sir.

As my CO, I've always leaned on him, depended on his strength, so laying my head on his shoulder now seems right. If only things had been different. At least we can be together this much before I . . .

Sorry, sir.

I'm dying.

Sorry . . . Jack.

The End


	10. Show Me The Way To Go Home

**Title:** "Show Me The Way To Go Home. . ."

**Author:** Dinkydow

**Email:** Drabble, exactly 100 words

**Pairings:** none

**Content Level: **anyone can read.

**Season:** Season 4

**Spoilers: **"Tangent"

**Warnings:** Jack's potty mouth.

**Summary:** Jack is lost in space.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

**Author's Notes:** Here's another Dinkyfic drabble for the word: skivvies. My hubby spent a lot of time around flyboys and has taught me some of their jargon. So when Jack said that line in "Tangent", it stuck in my mind. Jolene is at work so this is totally unbeta'ed – all mistakes can be blamed on me.

"Cabin pressures holding. We didn't spring a leak – though I may have just taken one!"

Jeez, when that runaway rocket cart wheeled toward us, my skivvies were sucked up my butt. When it hit – well let's just say all that built-up hydraulic pressure was vented.

Crap – pun intended.

The Oort Cloud? Our joyride around the planet turned into the mother of all snafu's courtesy of that scum-sucking Apophis.

Headache's bad. All I want is to get the heck out of this flying coffin and stretch my legs. No, make that a clean pair of shorts, aspirin – and a way home.

The End


	11. Simple Pleasures

Title: Simple Pleasures  
Author: Dinkydow  
Spoilers: None  
Rating: Anyone could read

Spoilers: "Smoke And Mirrors"  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: This is my second drabble, thanks to Jolene for the quick beta. I had this image kicking around in my mind for quite a while.

A homemade string stretched from one cell to another, its anchor a packet of generic Oreo cookies. Long fingers reached under the door and snagged the prize. Briefly, the pack stuck on the steel door and like a trapdoor spider, the fingers wiggled and tugged the cellophane package about until it disappeared into the cell dragging the attached string with it.

Inside, clad in his white boxers and t-shirt, Jack padded barefoot to his bunk and sat down. After he peeled back the wrapping, he bit down and sighed with pleasure.

"Cookies and hot showers make even the slammer bearable."

The End


	12. The Exorcist

Title: "The Exorcist"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, drama  
Spoilers: "Demons"

Pairings: none

Summary: Jack .can't get clean.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Takes place at the end of the episode after SG-1 returned to the SGC. Challenge word is "superstition". Not beta'ed so all mistakes are mine.

JJJ

Jack didn't know which was worse – the Unas or the Canon. The Canon had oppressed his people through fear and superstition – sacrificing those he didn't like to the Demon Unas. The Snakehead Unas followed Sokar's orders, but what was the Canon's excuse?

The Canon was the demon, who terrorized his own people for his own gain. Jack had gladly exorcised that demon by killing him.

Now in the shower, Jack scrubbed his skin raw to rid it of the taint of evil that had plagued him ever since he'd returned home. The soap didn't help. He'd been touched by evil.

The End


	13. Duty

Title: "Duty"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, drama  
Spoilers: "Menace"

Pairings: none

Summary: Jack had some cleaning to do.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Takes place at the end of the episode. Challenge word is "clutter".

jJj

"Look, I'm sorry. But this is the way this had to go down and you know it."

Daniel wouldn't look at Jack. He was too busy mourning the deadly robot. She – no – it sprawled on the floor like so much clutter – an epitaph to their friendship.

Jack keyed his radio. "All units, this is SG One Niner, commence sweep. I want every one of those things out of here."

"You stupid son of a bitch." Daniel's curse echoed inside Jack's head.

But time had ran out and with Earth itself at risk, Jack had done what was necessary – his duty.

The End


	14. Fireworks

Title: "Fireworks"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, ship, drama  
Spoilers: "The Broca Divide"

Pairings: Jack/Sam

Summary: Jack's eyes were opened.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Takes place at the end of the episode. Thanks to Jolene and Linda for the quick betas.

"I want you!" Yep, that's what she'd said. And that sweet little tank-top number that hugged her body like a second skin . . . Jeez, brains and beauty, what a dynamite combo.

She'd asked if I'd wanted her. For crying out loud, who wouldn't?

Even knowing the frat rules, her kisses were fireworks. Their oohs and ahhs illuminated my sordid past and blew my preconceptions about scientists – and her – to smithereens.

But it must have been the virus talking; no way she could want me. My persona would tarnish hers beyond redemption.

Can I act on this? Nope! But remember it? Yeahsureyabetcha!

The End


	15. Truth In Advertising

Title: "Truth In Advertising"

Author: Dinkydow  
Spoilers: None

Summary: He was only trying to do the right thing and was innocent of any crime.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Use the word "cottontail" in a drabble. Thanks to Jolene for the early-morning beta. This is in lieu of sending an actual Chocolate Bunny (or Jack) to all of you. Happy Easter!

Long elegant fingers wielded the scalpel with a surgeon's precision, severing the appendage from each animal's body. He devoured the tails raw, licking his fingers.

When all were ready for the transplant, the pseudo-surgeon dabbed a fluffy white ball into a dish of syrup and then cemented it onto each body. A bandana smoothed any imperfections.

Finally, three rabbits whose white posteriors contrasted with smooth chocolaty pelts awaited their fates.

"Sir?"

Blue eyes accused him of the unthinkable.

"See?" Jack brandished the empty bunny-box and pointed to its brand-name.

"Peter Cottontail," he read.

"It was mislabeled, so I fixed it."

The End


	16. Washed Out Drabble Series

Title: Washed Out, Drabble Series for Shower  
Author: Dinkydow  
Spoilers: None  
Rating: C+  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Blame this on Cokie. She provided the inspiration as well as the word.

"How about some help here!" Jack yelled as he stepped through the Gate.

Leaning heavily on Jack's shoulder, Teal'c limped, a rough bandage swathed one thigh, his other arm in a green sling.

The Gate slurped again, revealing Carter and Dr. Jackson, both sported injuries.

"Medical to the Gate Room!"

Hammond stood at the ramp and gaped. "What happened?"

Jack grimaced. "Landslide."

"This is a first, Jack. Everyone's hurt but you."

Teal'c grunted as he was helped to a gurney.

Jack smirked. "I'm off for a well-deserved shower while Fraiser treats my team, sir."

Hammond nodded. 'You earned it, son."

Jack shed his grubby BDU's and flung them in a hamper. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he grabbed his soap and headed for the shower. He turned the spigot and stood, face-up, as the hot water waterfalled off his face.

"Where's the danged washrag?"

His water-filled eyes peered around him. Missing.

"Crap."

One hand planted on the wall to steady himself, the other clutched the soap. When the slippery soap squeezed through his fingers and splashed onto the floor, he stooped to retrieve it. Unable to hold onto the tile wall, Jack slid and scrabbled, landing on the floor.

Droplets of water trickled down the tiles and puddled around a body collapsed facedown by the shower drain. The face, turned to one side, leaked crimson from a scraped forehead.

Dr. Fraiser reached trembling fingers toward the neck and rejoiced to find a pulse.

"How did this happen?"

Then she saw the culprit, a bar of soap nestled next to one unnaturally twisted arm.

A moan confirmed what the pulse already told her. "Colonel?"

As he raised a shaky hand to his forehead, each muscle glistened in the steamy haze that florescent lighting stained ruby.

"Crap," he muttered. "Washed out."

Searing light to the eyeball shattered the darkness.

"Get that thing away from me," muttered Jack as he batted weakly at Janet's arm.

"Hold still, Colonel while I check you out."

Jack blushed. "Could I at least have a gown?" Goosebumps appeared on exposed flesh.

A tittering female voice confirmed his worst fears.

"At ease, Lieutenant," admonished Fraiser. "We're all professionals here."

Jack opened one eye and glared at the assembled female nurses. "Don't you have jobs to do?"

"Yessir," they chorused, but didn't leave.

"Let's get him dried off," Janet ordered

Towels magically appeared, held by smiling nurses.

"Doc!"

The rate of mechanical beeping increased exponentially to the number and proximity of female nurses.

Jack's eyes widened in disbelief. "Hey! Back off!"

"You need to calm down, sir," crooned Fraiser. "No one will hurt you."

Mechanical beeps showered his beleaguered senses. "And shut that danged thing up!" His voice rose in pitch as he ripped the pads off his chest.

"Ow!" He grumbled, rubbing the now-hairless patches.

"Can't you leave me alone?"

Scrambling off the bed, he yanked off the sheet to cover his "assets".

He wavered and then collapsed into a puddle of intermingled bare flesh and sheet.

Jack slumped in his bed, asleep, a bandage on his forehead testament to previous misadventures. When Hammond and Fraiser appeared he opened his eyes.

"Can someone tell me what the heck is going on?"

"We were hoping you'd tell us, Jack," answered Hammond, his voice full of concern.

O'Neill squinted around his headache. "I remember taking a shower – then nurses?"

Fraiser looked uncomfortable. "I sent a sample of the soil from your uniform to our lab for testing. Apparently, it has hallucinogenic properties which caused you to experience paranoia."

Jack looked puzzled. So the nurses didn't…?"

"Didn't what, sir?"

"Nothing."

The End


	17. My Enemy, My Friend

Title: "My Enemy, My Friend"

Author: Dinkydow

Type: A double drabble, drama

Length: Each are exactly 100 words

Spoilers: Takes place during "Enemies", a little one for "Exodus"

Pairings: none

Warning: none

Summary: Teal'c was brainwashed.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Written for the weekly drabble word "relapse". Thank you Jolene for the quick beta and the rah-rahs. Blame the second one on Judy, she hinted it wasn't finished.

"Gods cannot be killed!" ranted a wild-eyed Teal'c, his hands confined by cuffs I applied.

Crap, it's like he had a relapse to believe that claptrap about Apophis – even though the snakehead's been resurrected countless times. May he rest – in pieces.

Teal'c insisted the past years were a sham and threatened to let Junior take me as host when it matured. His fanaticism shocked me. How could he change so much in so little time?

When we'd last been together, he died in my arms. Now, my brother-in-arms considers me his enemy.

Apophis brainwashed Teal'c's mind and stole his honor.

The Tau'ri O'Neill blasphemed my god Apophis who he claimed had died. I know my god will rise again, more powerful than before. As his First Prime, I shall not relapse from this belief.

The past years were a waking nightmare where I denied my god and consorted with my enemies, pretended to befriend those not worthy of such.

My symbiote thrashes within; a reminder of who and what I am, a vessel to serve my god. This man I called friend will make a worthy host for the life I carry within. He will serve my god, or die.

The End


	18. Atta Boy

**Title:** "Atta Boy!"

**Author:** dinkydow

**Email:** Ficlet, humor, sequel to "Man's Best Friend?"

**Pairings:** none

**Content Level: **13+

**Season:** Season 8

**Spoilers: **none

**Warnings:** Some potty language, Jack's a proud man.

**Summary:** Teal'c never had a chance.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it, so please don't sue. But, if you guys want any help with scripts, or Jack, just give me a holler.

**Dedication: **To our fighting men and women and the loved ones who watch them march in harms way.

**Author's Notes:** Here's another Dinkyfic. This is the continuing story of how a puppy can train his "parents". Thanks to Jolene for doing a quick beta on this puppy.

"Hey, Teal'c! C'mere," called Jack. He braced his feet against the insistent pull of the leash that was looped around his wrist. Sparing a quick glance over his shoulder, he noted that his friend had not yet answered his call.

Then he turned his attention to the small dog at the end of the leash. "Atta boy, son. You're doing me proud."

Once again, he called over his shoulder to his friend. "You gotta see this, Big Guy."

"What is it that you wish me to see?" Teal'c's body blocked the light shining through the open door, as his shadow co-mingled with patches of darkness that ghosted across Jack's backyard.

Jack smirked, and then pointed at the small Yorkie straining at the leash. "Look at my boy." His smile changed to a disappointed pout. "Aww, you missed it."

"What is the momentous event that I failed to observe?" Teal'c's face wore a mixture of confusion and impatience.

Jack gestured with his free hand. "This pup did his old man proud, it was a sight to see."

Teal'c remained silent his only response a raised eyebrow.

"He cocked his leg up when he peed, Teal'c."

"This is a major achievement?"

"Are you kidding? He always squatted before, but now he's lifting his leg when he pisses, just like the leader of the pack would." Jack puffed his chest out with pride.

"I see."

Like a fisherman reeling in a trout, O'Neill looped the leash around his wrist until the dog was standing at his feet, then scooped the little Yorkie into the crook of his arm and cradled him against his chest, at which point, the dog's pink tongue joyfully anointed Jack's neck and face with kisses.

"Get 'em, son," O'Neill crooned. "You're a good doggie."

"This is a momentous occasion?"

"Oh yeah," agreed Jack with a grin. "Something to celebrate."

Wriggling dog in hand, he turned to walk back inside his house, followed closely by his Jaffa friend.

"I do not understand."

Now in the kitchen, Jack turned to Teal'c, still holding the dog against his chest. "You're kidding. Right?"

"I am not."

"You mean you never had a pet dog when you were a kid?"

"Jaffa children are taught from an early age to serve their god. There is little time for amusement." He paused, one eyebrow raised for emphasis. "Any animals that found favor with the gods served as a momentary diversion when they were ritually slaughtered – and then eaten."

"Ah. That would certainly cut down on having any pets."

"Indeed."

Jack opened a cupboard and brought out a box of doggie treats. "It figures." Clutching the wriggling bundle of fur close to his chest, he fished one out of the box. "Hold your horses, buddy. I'm getting it. But if you're not careful, you'll get dropped on your furry butt and Cassie will have my ass."

Dropping the treat on the floor, he set the Yorkie down and watched with amusement as he pounced on the treat and carried it into the living room like a trophy. The little dog settled by his doggie bed and munched on it. When Jack walked past him on his way to the couch

he lifted his head in suspicion.

Jack chuckled as he joined Teal'c in front of the TV. "That's my boy," he said like a proud father.

Jack picked up his already open bottle of Guinness off the coffee table. "Whatcha watching?"

"I am viewing a documentary on the History channel about a heroic Tau'ri battle, The Battle of The Bulge."

"Ah, now that was a battle. Are you watching the movie, or a documentary?"

"A documentary. There is something I do not understand, however."

"Ask away, T." Jack took a sip of his beer and smiled in appreciation.

"When ordered to surrender by a vastly superior force, the American commander replied with a term with which I am unfamiliar."

Jack was distracted when the growling Yorkie tugged the slipper off his foot and then scampered off to a corner where he began shaking it viciously.

"O'Neill?"

Jack's head turned back to his Jaffa friend on the couch. "What? Oh, sorry, he's quite the little hellion sometimes."

Teal'c nodded. "He does display uncommon ferocity for his small stature."

"What was it you wanted to know?"

"When instructed to surrender, the commander of the American forces replied with a single word – nuts."

Jack propped his legs on the coffee table and rested his beer on his stomach.

"Yeah, that guy had balls of steel."

"I do not understand. In what context was this word used. Are not nuts the seed pod of certain Tau'ri plants?"

Jack chuckled. "Oh, I see what you mean. You're right, but in this case it meant he wasn't going to surrender. As in no way Jose, you're crazy if you think I'm gonna listen to you, ain't gonna happen . . . Nuts."

"I see. Then this is yet another example of Tau'ri humor."

"You got it." Jack whistled at the growling ball of fur in the corner.

"C'mere, Jackie m'boy."

Dark brown eyes solemnly regarded the pair on the couch before the puppy barked and bounded to the couch. One hand secured around his bottle, Jack used the other to scoop the squirming puppy onto his lap.

"Ya wanna hold him?"

Teal'c hesitated. "Is this wise?"

"Sure, he won't hurt you, I promise."

The Jaffa raised his eyebrow. "It was the welfare of Cassie's pet with which I was concerned."

"Ah, suit yourself, but this little fur ball is tougher than he looks."

Jack set the dog on the floor and dangled a ragged towel. "Watch this."

Immediately, the dog latched onto it, as he tugged at it, a throaty growl came from the tiny chest as he attempted to drag it off. However, Jack kept a firm grip on his end of the towel. Switching tactics, the puppy settled in for the long haul, his body close to the ground and dug his heels in, with an occasional vicious shake of his head, as if trying to rip the spoils from a rival's mouth.

Jack watched Teal'c face for a clue as to his friend's thoughts. As usual, it was hard to read the inscrutable face.

"According to the historians, this dog was originally bred by miners to hunt down and kill rats in the mines."

"This would explain the unusual ferocity displayed by Cassie's pet, would it not?" Teal'c mouth twitched into a half-smile as the dog wrested the towel from Jack's grasp, then trotted over to the corner where he continued to worry and growl at it.

"Tell you what, Teal'c. Next potty break, why don't you do the honors?" He smirked and held out the leash with two fingers. "You feel up to it?"

Teal'c inclined his head. "I shall endeavor to prove a worthy dog attendant to such a noble cha'tii."

Jack paused with the bottle halfway to his lips. "What?"

"Cassie's pet is a cha'tii, a little warrior."

"That he is, my friend, that he is. Just make sure the chatty Jackie doesn't piss on your boots."

"Indeed. That would be a most inauspicious beginning to my new relationship with the son of your heart, O'Neill."

"Touché," Jack tipped his bottle in his friend's direction.

A whine drew his attention back to the pup, which was now standing. As he watched, he whined again.

"That's your cue, Big Guy." Jack stood and picked up the leash. Then he walked over to the dog and attached it to the halter. "Chatty Jackie needs to pee. . . outdoors if at all possible."

A sound behind him made him turn only to jump. "Don't do that, Teal'c."

Teal'c stood behind Jack, impassive as stone. "I stand ready to assume my duties." He plucked the leash out of Jack's fingers and strode past him toward the kitchen door.

"Don't stay out too late, bud. I'll keep the light on."

Jack sighed as the door closed. True, he hadn't really expected a response from his Jaffa friend; after all, this was Teal'c, the original straight guy. Still sometimes it felt like he was wasting his best lines on him.

He settled in front of the TV and surfed through the channels, only stopping when he heard the sound of "The Simpson's."

"Ah, this is sweet! A bottle of beer and thee, Homer," he murmured.

"O'Neill!"

"What?"

Teal'c appeared, cradling the wriggling dog in his arms. "It was a most memorable experience."

Jack cocked his head.

"It was as you said, the cha'tii cocked his leg to urinate."

Teal'c's face split in an uncharacteristic grin as the dog licked his face and neck.

Jack just grinned. It really wasn't' surprising that the Big Guy had fallen for the little fur ball, now if he could just convince the Asgard that he hadn't been trying to pull a fast one on them. Who knew that they were allergic to dog spit? And he hadn't meant to laugh, really he hadn't.

The End?


	19. Man's Best Friend?

**Title: **Man's Best Friend?

**Author: **Dinkydow

**Email: **Ficlet, humor

**Pairings: **Jack/Sam but nothing romantic

**Content Level: **13+

**Spoilers: **none

**Warnings: **Some potty language, Jack is not a happy camper.

**Summary: **Jack has finally met his match.

**Disclaimer: **Nope, still don't own any of them.

**Author's Notes: **Here's another Dinkyfic. My hubby and I recently became the parents of a Yorkie puppy. This was inspired by our experiences in him training us. Thanks to Jolene and Linda for doing a quick beta on this puppy.

yYy

Jack sighed, scrubbed both palms over his face, rumpled his already unruly hair, and blinked bloodshot eyes.

"Crap," he muttered. "What did I do to deserve this?" Weary beyond words, he stared off into space, and then searched his desktop for his cup of coffee. In a half-hearted manner, he patted various piles of paperwork that hid his salvation.

"Oh, for crying out loud, I distinctly remember Walter handed me that danged thing when I got off the elevator this morning. Now, where did I put it?"

He opened a side file drawer, sighed and then shut it. "Nope, not there either."

"Looking for something, sir?" Just the hint of a feminine giggle came from the blonde-haired Lieutenant Colonel standing in his open office door with both hands behind her back.

Jack scowled. "No giggling, Colonel."

She stepped forward and produced his coffee cup from behind her back with a flourish. Then she brought it to his desk.

Jack met her halfway, shot out of his chair whereupon it proved Newton's Law of Motion by colliding against the far wall with a thud. The noise was ignored in favor of the specially brewed stimulant of the god's that beckoned him.

He cradled her hands and then promptly moved his fingers toward his real goal, the still-warm cup. "Where did you find this? I've been looking all over for it."

She grinned and hooked a thumb over her shoulder. "Out in the Briefing Room. I came up early to go over my notes for our next mission briefing," she looked at her watch, "in five minutes."

Oblivious to her words, Jack continued to sip at the hot liquid.

"Sir?"

Jack jumped. "What?"

"Our briefing? In five minutes?"

"Oh, that." Jack turned back to his desk and picked up a file at random.

"Have a rough night?"

Jack turned and sloshed his coffee. "Why, does it show?"

"Umm, yeah."

"Oh."

"Wanna talk about it?" She hesitated. "Sir?"

He shrugged and walked back toward his wayward chair, after he carefully deposited his cup on his desk. "Ya got a minute . . . or five?"

She smiled and flashed her teeth and pulled up a chair. "Always, sir."

Jack picked up his coffee cup and inhaled the aroma.

"Remember that puppy that I'm taking care of for Cassie while she's off at college?"

"That cute little Yorkie named Jack?"

He huffed out a breath. "That's the one, only it's so not cute. In face, I'm considering calling her and demanding to know why she named the hound from hell after her favorite uncle."

"Hound from hell? But it only weighs two pounds, max. Are you sure we're talking about the same dog?"

"Unless her dog was kidnapped by aliens and replaced by this one, we are."

Carter smirked. "No, it couldn't be. He's only about that long . . ." she added, holding her hands about a foot apart.

"Listen, Carter. I'm not kidding. This dog has done what all the System Lords failed to do. That little mutt is breaking me."

When Jack sneaked a quick glance at Carter, she strategically hid her grin with her hands.

"Sounds serious, sir," she mumbled.

"Every morning, at three AM that pup from hell whines until I get out of bed to take him outside to pee. I walk him to his favorite spots, Pee Central and Poop De Ville." Jack gestured expansively with his hands, and just missed his coffee cup.

"Go on."

"Back and forth for hours we walk, when everyone else on this planet is asleep. He barks at fireflies, eats twigs and grass, but does he pee? Or poop?" Jack clenched his teeth and began worrying at the edge of the file in front of him with the fingers of one hand.

Carter shrugged.

"I get nada from him, zip, nothing. All noise and no substance, so to speak, so, I take him back into the house." Jack rubbed his hands together. "Can you guess what that little fur ball does then?"

Wisely, she said nothing.

"He trots over to my coffee table and then piddles all over my rug, Carter. And then he craps a log of his own in front of the fireplace. That's what that over-sized rodent does."

Jack blew out an explosive breath and cupped his forehead in his hands. "I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to do. I've thought about strangling the mutt and burying him in the backyard, but am afraid the neighborhood cats would dig up the evidence."

"You could try calling Cassie," suggested Sam.

"No, I can't let her down like that. I promised I'd watch out for the little fart."

Jack got up to pace. Then his face lit up. One forefinger in the air, he announced. "Wait a minute. I know the perfect solution!"

Carter looked nervous and nibbled her lower lip. "Sir?"

Jack rifled through his middle desk drawer, withdrew a shell-shaped object and held it up to his mouth. He tapped it and when it lit up, he cleared his throat and spoke into it.

"Testing, one, two, testing . . ."

Sam looked doubtful. "Sir"

Jack's eyebrows met his hairline as he donned his most innocent look and spoke into the shell. "Thor?"

The End


	20. The Blazing Inferno Denied

Title: "The Blazing Inferno Denied"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, drama  
Spoilers: none

Pairings: none

Summary: Jack invites Teal'c to his birthday party.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Jackfic drabble challenge for Jack's birthday. No beta, am living on the edge. All mistakes are mine.

JTJTJT

Teal'c stood at Jack's front door, two boxes in his arms.

"I wish to partake in the festivities that celebrate your day of birth, O'Neill."

Jack smiled and waved him inside. "Come on in. The party's just starting." His curiosity was piqued and he couldn't resist. "What's in the boxes?"

Teal'c's face blossomed into an unaccustomed smile as he opened the first. "Donuts."

Jack's hand was slapped away from the jelly-filled confection, so he indicated the other box. "And this one?"

"It is a fire extinguisher."

"Excuse me?"

"To douse the candle-fed conflagration on your cake."

"Look who's talking, Teal'c."

The End


	21. Circling The Wagons

Title: "Circling The Wagons"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, drama  
Spoilers: "Small Victories"

Season: 4

Pairings: none

Summary: Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Takes place as Jack and Teal'c are being over-run. Challenge word is "eerie". Thanks to Jolene for the beta.

jtjtjt

"Davis, give the order!"

If Daniel wouldn't/couldn't do it, then Davis would because my eagles trump his gold leaves.

Backlit by reddish light that cast an eerie glow upon this oversized roach motel Teal'c and I were surrounded – all hope for escape died. The only sounds were the click-whirr-whine of the bugs and the wham-blam of our inadequate firepower.

Now I knew how Custer felt when he saw all those Indians come over the hill. Teal'c and I circled our wagons, but this is one battle we couldn't win.

Blowing the sub would destroy the bugs . . . and avenge our deaths.

The End


	22. A Promise Made And Kept

Title: "A Promise Made . . . and Kept"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, Jack's pov, drama  
Spoilers: "Thor's Hammer"

Season: 1

Pairings: none

Summary: Jack meant what he said.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: Takes place while Jack and Teal'c are trapped. Jackfic challenge word is "eerie". Thanks to Jolene for the beta.

Jtjtjtj

An eerie guttural howl born of rage and pain echoed through the labyrinth, the Snake-killing trap that I could leave, but Teal'c couldn't.

"Okay, that's no myth."

Teal'c called it a Unas – who came complete with snakehead – was the stuff of legend, stories told to frighten children. But this myth bled green and would love to have us for dinner – the main course.

Even after all this time together Teal'c insisted I save myself and leave him there to die. The Unas didn't get it either. There was no way I would because I don't leave anyone – especially friends – behind.

The End


	23. Too Much Of A Bad Thing Is A Bad Thing

Title: "Too Much Of A Bad Thing Is A Bad Thing"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble  
Spoilers: "Ex Deus Machina", Season 9 or 10.

Pairings: None

Summary: Jack is face to face with his worst nightmares.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: drabble for Jackfic word of the week: "Eenie meanie minie moe" Thanks to JoleneB for the quick beta. All other mistakes are mine.

Jbjbjb

Jack's eyes widened in disbelief; the room was filled with the clones of Baal – the Goa'uld that haunted his nightmares.

Crap!

He thought for a moment and then smirked as his outstretched finger moved from one person to the next. "Eenee meenie minee moe, catch a snakehead by his toe. If he hollers let him go, eenie meenie minee moe. My mother told me to pick the very best one and I chose this one."

Jack sauntered up to his last choice and tapped him on the chest. "You're it."

"Impudence!" Baal snarled.

"Nope, Mother Goose." Then he grinned. "Gotcha."

The End


	24. The Puppet Master

Title: "The Puppet Master"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble  
Spoilers: "Lockdown" Season 8.

Pairings: None

Summary: Anubis was in control.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: drabble for Jackfic word of the week: shadow. Thanks to JoleneB for the quick beta.

xXx

Wary, Jack observed as an oily soot-black cloud rise from Carter's body slumped on the floor, victim of his zat. All shadow and no substance it hovered and then targeted him.

He knew a moment of fear and then watched helplessly as Anubis inhabited his body – raged at the Goa'uld for the damage done, to his people, his base. He was supposed to be the man in charge, not a helpless puppet whose strings were pulled by a snake who didn't have the decency to stay dead.

Anubis merely laughed and taunted him.

Jack would win though – he had to.

The End


	25. The Puppet Master II

Title: "The Puppet Master II"

Author: Dinkydow

Category: Drabble, pov of Anubis  
Spoilers: "Lockdown" Season 8.

Pairings: None

Summary: Anubis was in control.

Rating: Anyone can read it.

Length: exactly 100 words  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't have the rights, someone else does. Don't sue.  
Comments: drabble for Jackfic word of the week: shadow. Thanks to JoleneB for the quick beta.

xXx

Anubis left his unconscious and useless host, and searched for another. He found it almost immediately. Like a dark oily shadow, his essence blanketed the silver-haired Tau'ri and easily suffocated the very soul of his victim, smothering all hint of resistance.

From the memories of his previous host, he knew its identity, Jack O'Neill, recently placed in command of the SGC – the very one who had activated the weapon of the Ancients that had destroyed his fleet.

Anubis ridiculed his host's puny efforts to circumvent his will and ruthlessly rifled through his mind. This body would serve his purposes well.

The End


	26. Absolute Power

Title: "Absolute Power"

Author: Dinkydow

Type: Drabble, from Hammond's POV.

Length: exactly 100 words

Spoilers: "Upgrades"

Season: Four

Warning: none

Summary: George just found another reason not to trust the Tok'ra.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, somebody else does. They have money, I don't, so don't sue.

Author's Notes: Jackfic challenge. Use "frosty" in a sentence. This turned into a double drabble, the first from me in General Hammond's POV. Thanks to Jolene for the invaluable beta help and to Cokie for the nudge to write again. It had been too long, but what can I say? glares at real life and cackles manically 

"General, if I may," Jack interrupted.

General Hammond leveled a frosty glare at O'Neill, "No, you may not."

His icy demand shifted to the SF's, "Take them back to the lockup."

"For what it's worth, I'm ordering you to cooperate," his words lingered in the air – verbal icicles – a reprimand to all involved.

The armbands had proven dangerous, to Jack and his team. And to the discipline George expected from them. They'd become loose cannons. His anger was a thin veneer that concealed his burgeoning fear for their survival.

Anise's experiment would kill them. And that certainty fueled his ire.

The End


End file.
